Tommy Fury wisely said ‘Remember, it’s always you against you’. The boxers’ opponent is not really the other person in the ring, staring them out. The weaknesses you know in yourself are the things you betray that allow the other boxer to take advantage.
My painting, anthropomorphised, mocks me from across the studio. I have to lie on the floor to avoid its gaze. I put ‘Jungle Rain, 9hrs’ on Spotify and close my eyes. The painting remains vertical, counting me out.
When a boxer is “knocked out” it does not mean, as it’s commonly thought, that he has been knocked unconscious, or even incapacitated; it means rather more poetically that he has been knocked out of Time. The referee’s dramatic count of ten constitutes a metaphysical parenthesis of a kind through which the fallen boxer must penetrate if he hopes to continue in Time. There are in a sense two dimensions of Time abruptly operant: while the standing boxer is in time the fallen boxer is out of time. Counted out, he is counted “dead” - in symbolic mimicry of the sport’s ancient tradition in which he would very likely be dead.
Joyce Carol Oates in On Boxing, explaining how when I get up from my extended escape, the painting is still there, unchanged, feet dancing and gloves up ready to go again.
I’m disturbed that nothing has changed since I laid down. I’ll avoid painting a bit longer, lie back down and watch Hearns vs. Hagler 1985 on Youtube on my phone.
Here’s my trash talk to Anthony Joshua, a man who ‘doesn’t want it enough’ to win anymore - in the pub hundreds of conversations about how he doesn’t really want to hurt anyone so he fails everytime, not living up to his physical ability because his mind has no aggression. His mind is on his brand deals, his image has won him Deals with Under Armour, Hugo Boss, Land Rover and Jaguar all worth millions to Joshua and saw him earn a total of £8.9m in 2021 according to TalkSport.
I wouldn’t want to bash up my face if I was in his position either. Sophie Tea wouldn’t make a painting that would potentially ruin her instagram image of aggressive positivity (‘Mini-Manifestations’ limited edition original artwork dropping today 12PM Shop NOW….I’ll choose ‘I make my dreams a reality’) You won’t find a section on her website with titles like Mike Tyson’s cheery ‘I want to rip out his heart and feed it to Lennox Lewis. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children’, 2023, Holographic Paper with acrylic and resin, 25 x 20 cm, £1000, unframed.
The boxer doesn’t run from pain, they run to it, ‘public display, all risk and, ideally, improvisation’*. But Joshua’s brand image suffered greatly following his defeat to Usyk - his stock dropping 35% in a year. ‘Probably the most potent desire for a painter, an image-maker, is to see it. To see what the mind can think and imagine, to realise it for oneself, through oneself, as concretely as possible.’ says Philip Guston. What can Anthony Joshua want to see? Does he see himself standing over his next opponent, rumoured to be Deontay Wilder or Dillian Whyte, as the ref counts him out or does he hear the voice of Dominic Ingle telling him he doesn’t have the “recklessness” to win, so maybe the fight won’t happen. Every week there’s a new fight announced only for it to be cancelled or postponed. It must be exhausting, promotors, titles, training, photoshoots. A recently deleted tweet from AJ: "I don't know about any talks to fight Dillian Whyte. Everyday. AJ this, AJ that, AJ's hairline going way back but I'll still f*** your girl go retweet that."
I’ve put down my phone after watching 3 more videos of 1980s boxing matches. I take the painting off the wall, lay it on the floor where I have just been, pick up a sander and tell it, “I’m going to rip out your stomach.”
“I do not struggle against the world, I struggle against a greater force, against my weariness of the world.”
*Joyce Carol Oates, On Boxing, 1987
*E. M. Cioran, Drawn and Quartered, 1979